10 Signs of Depression in Men: Recognizing the Hidden Struggle

Depression is a serious mental health condition that affects millions of men worldwide. However, the signs of depression in men can often be subtle, masked, or expressed differently than the stereotypical symptoms we associate with depression.

As a result, many men suffer in silence, unaware that they are struggling with a treatable condition. Psychotherapist Terry Real, a well-known expert on male depression, emphasizes the unique challenges men face when dealing with emotional distress. In this blog post, I’ll explore ten common (and often overlooked) signs of depression in men and the importance of seeking support.

1. Anger and Irritability

According to Terry Real, men with depression often express their emotional pain through anger, irritability, or aggression. From an early age many men are raised to feel that it’s weak to express emotions that are more vulnerable, such as sadness or grief.

Anger is shown to be an acceptable emotion, and sometimes more difficult feelings can get “funneled” into this form of expression. This may also be shown as heightened stress, or even a feeling of anxiety. If you notice a man becoming more easily frustrated, lashing out at others, or experiencing sudden outbursts of anger, it could be a sign of underlying depression.

2. Fatigue and Sleep Changes

Depression can cause significant changes in energy levels and sleep patterns. Men with depression may experience persistent fatigue, decreased motivation, and a lack of interest in activities they once enjoyed. They may also have difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or conversely, sleep excessively.

3. Substance Abuse

Real notes that some men may turn to alcohol or drugs as a way to numb or escape the emotional pain of depression. If you notice a man increasing their alcohol or drug consumption, or relying on prescription medications to cope with their feelings, it could be a sign of depression.

4. Physical Pain and Health Concerns

Depression can manifest through physical symptoms in men, such as headaches, digestive problems, or chronic pain. Men may be more likely to focus on these physical symptoms and seek medical attention for them rather than addressing the underlying emotional distress. It’s also common in depression to have concerns about physical health, or to feel unattractive. An increased sense of concern about physical health or attractiveness may be a sign of unaddressed depression.

5. Isolation and Withdrawal

Men experiencing depression may start to withdraw from social interactions and isolate themselves from friends and family. They may lose interest in hobbies or activities they once enjoyed, decline invitations to social gatherings, or spend more time alone.

6. Difficulty Concentrating

Depression can impact cognitive function, making it challenging for men to concentrate, make decisions, or remember details. If a man seems easily distracted, struggles to complete tasks, or experiences a decline in work performance, it may be a sign of depression.

7. Risky Behavior

Some men with depression may engage in risky or reckless behavior, such as driving dangerously, engaging in unprotected sex, or participating in extreme sports. This may be a way to cope with emotional pain or seek a sense of excitement or purpose.

8. Loss of Interest in Sex

Depression can cause a decrease in libido and sexual desire. Men with depression may lose interest in sex or experience sexual dysfunction, such as difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection.

9. A Sense of Hopelessness

Men with depression may experience a pervasive sense of hopelessness, feeling like things will never get better or that they are a burden to others. They may struggle to see a way forward or find meaning and purpose in life.

10. Suicidal Thoughts

In severe cases, depression can lead to thoughts of suicide or self-harm. It's crucial to take any suicidal thoughts or expressions seriously and seek immediate professional help.

The Importance of Seeking Help

If you recognize any of these signs in yourself or a man in your life, it's crucial to seek support. As Terry Real emphasizes, men often face unique barriers to seeking help for depression, including societal pressure to appear strong and in control. This barrier leads to a focus on trying to "tough it out” and deal with depression on one’s own.

Depression, however, often thrives in isolation: getting support and feeling connected to others is an important aspect of recovering from depression. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or healthcare professional can be the first step in getting the support and treatment needed to manage depression effectively.

Conclusion

Depression in men can be a hidden struggle, with symptoms often masked or expressed in ways that differ from the stereotypical signs of depression. By recognizing the subtle signs of depression in men we can better support the men in our lives who may be silently suffering.

As a therapist specializing in men's mental health, I'm here to provide a safe, non-judgmental space for you to explore your emotions, develop coping strategies, and work towards a happier, healthier life.

FAQ

Q: Why do men often have a harder time recognizing and accepting depression?
A: Men often face societal pressure to appear strong, independent, and in control of their emotions. Many men have also had past experiences of being shamed, judged, or otherwise punished for displaying vulnerable emotions. This can make it challenging for men to acknowledge and accept feelings of depression, as they may view it as a sign of weakness or failure. Plus, the symptoms of depression in men can sometimes be misinterpreted as anger, stress, or physical health issues, making it harder to recognize the underlying mental health condition.

Q: How can I support a man who seems to be struggling with depression but is resistant to seeking help?
A: Start by expressing your concern and offering a non-judgmental listening ear. Validate their feelings and experiences, and share resources, such as articles or books about male depression (I Don’t Want to Talk About It by Terry Real, a book focused on depression in men, is a great start). Gently encourage them to consider seeking professional support. Remember to take care of your own mental health as well and set appropriate boundaries if needed.

Q: What are some effective treatments for male depression?
A: Treatment for depression often involves a combination of therapy and medication. Psychotherapy approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and psychodynamic therapy, can help men identify and change negative thought patterns, improve communication skills, and develop healthy coping strategies. Antidepressant medications may also be prescribed to help alleviate symptoms. Additionally, lifestyle changes, such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, and stress-reduction techniques, can support overall mental well-being. Each individual person will have a different treatment plan, but best practices incorporate some mixture of therapy, lifestyle changes, and possibly medication.